One year in porn

April of 2013 I was sitting on the phone shaking explain to my mom what I was really going to San Francisco for when she didn’t buy me going to speak at a trans conference. I like every queer knew who Jiz Lee was and happened to have the chance see them speak at GVSU in my hometown of Grand Rapids. I spent that christmas with my friends watching the first crash pad freaking out over Courtney Trouble’s scene. A few days after meeting Jiz in September of 2012 I got a email back from them asking if I wanted to do a shoot in the new crash pad location with Dylan Ryan and Courtney Trouble on April 13th. I literally watched every single scene of each that I could find anywhere to try to live up to their legendary performances that made them the queer porn icons they are. The date of the shoot was always on my mind. I lived next to a green house that opened on April 12th with a countdown sign until the day they open that became to me a countdown until I start my porn career. Every day I would drive by that sign and as the numbers dropped down I became beyond excited and extremely nervous like “what if I say something offensive?”, “what if I suck and neither of them cum?”, “what if I get scared and can’t do it”?.  Finally I was at the airport leaving Michigan for the first time on my own and get to the ritzy hotel I spent way more than I should have on that I had to eat fast food for every meal on my trip. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep as I took a cab to the warehouse space that is the crash pad’s location. I was the first one there then Courtney Trouble showed up and I went into total fan girl mode hanging on every single thing they said and being totally shocked how they were only 4’11”. I was texting Alaska White about literally every moment with mainly the use of  ”omg”, “lol” and “omfg”. Dylan shortly came in after and again I was in total fan girl mode and completely shocked they were over 6’ tall. We started our scene with me eating both out until they both came and then the winner getting to fuck me. I was shaking like a leaf and being so utterly shy to the point while my face is burried in Dylan’s cunt telling me “Its okay you can touch me.”. Shortly After they both fucked me and within 10 mins my first scene was done and we were all on our own ways. I then called literally everyone and knew and gushed about all the details. The next day I was shooting for Grooby and I heard nothing but horror stories about photographers trying to have sex with the girls and awful porn drug stereotypes flashing through my head. My photographer Radius Dark called me he was in the lobby and was coming up to my room and I was beyond nervous and wondering if he was going to be that sleazy porn stereotype. After he gets up to my room we start talking and he immediately asks if I’m a virgo and literally to that point I never knew my sign and nothing else of the sort. He and I later had an in depth convo about welfare programs, 90s hip hop, the nfl, the bay area and literally nothing about sex. During part of the scene while fucking my ass with a dildo he suggests I say “Fuck me hard” then adds “with your strap on” as I was clearly being a raging dyke like I always am in my life. After that first trip I knew I was coming back in a few months to shoot for Courtney’s site and really had no clue what it was going to be for. I learned a week before I was going I was going to be shooting with Maxine Holloway and we were shooting at the Dyke March and literally had no clue how big that was or how we could do that. I literally cannot sum up that scene with words if you follow this blog I assume most of you have seen that scene, gifs from it or photos from it. That scene changed my life. How much attention it got allowed me to take the jump and move to the bay and shoot for other bigger sites. I got an email from kink.com asking me if I would be interested in joining kinklive as a model and cam from the armory which was literally a dream come true. The idea of working at the famous kink.com armory which is a castle where some of the world’s best bdsm porn is made was beyond perfect for me. A few months after moving to the bay and settling in award season started and I had the pleasure of going to the Trans Awards in LA and had a chance to speak out about the current name with a group of ftm performers from the bay. Less than a month later Steven Grooby posted a press release finally changing the name. At this point I thought nothing more exciting could happen within my first year in the industry. Courtney Trouble then offered me my own feature dvd “Fucking Mystic” where I could write my own script, cast all my own scenes and co-direct. This is the dream project I was hoping in maybe 5 years that I would be able to do. During shooting this project Bailey Jay sent out a tweet not only knowing who I am but saying I’m one of her dream performers to perform with. I knew this was such a huge huge huge thing not only for me but could be beyond huge for queer porn as a whole thats when Courtney Trouble mentioned wanting me to be on Transgrrrls 2 and thats when it clicked Bailey Jay needs to be on Transgrrrls 2. There it was a year after I was that girl in the midwest explaining how to my mother why me doing porn was a good idea that I’m not getting pressured into and now I’m in a luxury hotel in manhatten waiting to shoot with the biggest name ever in trans porn Bailey Jay for a queer porn icon that 2 years earlier I was idolizing on christmas. The week before my first film Transgrrrls won a feminist porn award and the award is in the shape of a sex toy. So one year to the day of my shaking like a leaf 3 some for crash pad I was getting fucked by Bailey Jay by a feminist porn award for a film I was on the cover of being used as a dildo to fuck me. My first year in porn blew me away and really cannot wait to see what the next year has in store